Happy Birthday, Rich.

It has been almost one year since my last entry on this blog....it started as a case of "writers block" that wouldn't seem to go away.  Then in April, our lives took a huge turn and we are still working to establish some sense of normal.

In the matter of one month we lost three very important people in our lives.  My wonderful uncle, David Tacia, died very unexpectedly from  cardiac arrest.  Two weeks later, my mother, Eleanor Mosley died from complications from a broken hip and a broken heart from losing her much adored little brother.

Two weeks prior to my Uncle David dying, Matt and I were sitting in our living room, drinking coffee.  Matt had just gotten laid off from his job at the hospital and we were planning what we were going to get accomplished while he was jobless.  My phone rang and it was my son Luke, calling to tell me that his dad, Rich, had been killed in a car accident that morning on his way to work.  Could Matt and I please come to Kalamazoo as soon as we could.

Matt quickly threw our large suitcase on the bed, we added our clothes and various miscellaneous items and headed to Kalamazoo within the hour.  After we arrived we learned that Rich was sitting at a red light in Schoolcraft.  He was hit and killed by a man in a car traveling at a high rate of speed.  The days that followed were a blur.  Trying to comprehend how life can change so quickly, plan a funeral and watch my son attempt to deal with the loss of his father, while dealing with the loss of my son's father was difficult, to say the least.

Richard W. Simmons, Jr. and I were married in 1991.  Although our marriage ended in divorce we somehow managed to come out as friends.  We spoke on the phone frequently and even traveled together to Kansas City to see Luke for his birthday when he was living there.

We shared the bond of deep love for our son and we cared about each other too.  We spend 20 years together and knew each other well.

Rich was the brother of Lori, who I worked with when I was a manger for Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers.  Upon getting to know Rich, one thing was apparent.  Rich loved farming and he loved John Deere.

 In fact, he worked for a John Deere dealership called Finnermans.  He drove their semi and delivered their equipment.  There was no better job in this world for Rich, whom I fondly called a "Spectator Farmer."  He didn't want to farm himself, he just wanted to watch everyone else do it.  And delivering equipment to all of the big farmers in the area was a great way to accomplish this.  He always knew who was planting, harvesting and who had a new center pivot, tractor or combine.  At Rich's funeral, his dad, Dick said that Rich always loved things that were "green with yellow wheels."

 A ten minute trip with Rich could turn into an hour and a half if he thought there was something in the farming world he had to see.  He faithfully read the Farmers Advance every week and watched the US Farm Report on television every Saturday morning.  As our relationship grew I knew that Rich really liked me the day he presented me with my very own John Deere tractor key.  I put it on my key ring right away as I knew that was a very special token of affection coming from Rich.  A little over a year after we met Rich and I got married.  It was a rainy fall day in October.  The rain was good as all of his farmer friends we able to attend because they were unable to work in the fields due to the weather.  And of course, under his tux jacket, Rich sported a pair of John Deere suspenders.

October 3, 1993 our son, Luke was born.

 It was only natural that when Luke could talk, he would declare that "farming is my life."  He was a great companion for his father.  They would go out together, riding around and keeping track of all the agricultural goings on in the area.

 They would spend hours at Lennie Jaworski's operation (a "big time" farmer in Vicksburg) discussing crops and inspecting equipment.  The Centerville fair was always the highpoint of the early fall as they had a spectacular display of combines and tractors. (Rich no longer worked for them as he got a job with Consumers Concrete after Luke was born. Although he hated to give up his work at Finnermans,  he wanted to work closer to home.)  Luke joined 4H has soon as he was able and raised pigs just like his dad did.

 Farming was always the tie that bound them to each other and also to Rich's dad, Dick and Luke's Uncle Joe.  The four of them even traveled together to the John Deere headquarters to watch a tractor for Joe's work at the MSU Farm being built.  When Luke graduated from High School,  the "Little H" John Deere tractor that has been in the Simmons family for many years sat out in the front yard during the party.

At the time Rich died, he was once again working for Finnermans, which had grown into a very large John Deere dealership and was called Greenmark Equipment.  I don't think anyone really loved their job more than Rich did.  He drove their semi truck and once again was delivering John Deere tractors and combines to some of the largest farms in Southwest Michigan.

 He took great pride in his work and we often talked about his job and how happy he was to have it back.  Luke moved back to the Kalamazoo area and would often stop in to see his dad or have lunch with him at work.  Rich was truly living the dream by being involved with the farming world that he loved so much.  Greenmark bought Rich's semi with a tractor on the back and parked it in the church parking lot during the funeral.  Rich arrived at Heavens gate in a fresh work uniform as that is what Luke chose to have him buried in.

One night before the funeral,  Luke was telling us how badly he wanted a sign that his dad was okay.  The accident was a terrible one and it was very hard for everyone to think about.  Rich had a very strong faith and we knew that he was in heaven.  But to Luke it was very important that he get a sign from his dad that he was not suffering.  I told Luke that he would have to be patient but I was sure that someday, somehow, Rich would send that sign to Luke.  I asked Rich to make it as soon as he could because it was so hard to see Luke struggle the way that he was.

Rich's visitation was planned for a Sunday afternoon.  On Saturday, we were at Rich's sister, Ann's home.  We were making an attempt at normalcy watching her daughter, Kealey get ready for the prom.  All of Lukes cousins were there also (except for Phillip who was serving in Afghanistan) and they took him out for a ride and to get some ice cream.  Rich's sisters, Phyllis and Diane, Diane's husband Jerome and Rich's brother Joe went for a ride to the site of the accident and to leave some flowers.  They arrived back at Ann's house before Luke and his cousins did.  Luke's Uncle Jerome asked me if he could talk to me in private.  We went into another room and Jerome told me that when they got to the accident site, they had found a few things of Rich's.  Some contents of his wallet were scattered about in the median close to where the accident happened.  They found his partially burned social security card and a few other things that they had put into a bag for me to give to Luke when I thought he was ready.  Then Jerome said that he had walked several feet away and was looking in the grass.  He said "I found this, do you think it belonged to Rich?".  He held out his hand, and in it was a John Deere key.  It was exactly like the one he had given me over twenty years ago.  It was just like the ones he always had in his car.  Of course it was Rich's and Jerome found it in the grass, in the median of 131 just like Rich wanted him too.  I told Jerome the significance of what he had found.  I told him that he had found the sign that Rich had sent to his son to let him know that he was okay.  The key was scratched and beat up but it was whole, just like Rich was in heaven.  I told Jerome that he had to give it to Luke when He got home.  Then I thanked Rich for being so prompt in taking care of that.  Rich was always quick to act on matters of importance and this time he came through just like I knew he would.

I was there when Jerome gave Luke the key.  By the look of pure relief on Lukes face, I knew that it would give him the peace he needed to get through the next few days and the next several years.  We promptly took it to a jewelry store where they sautered a jump ring on the key.  We bought a silver chain and Luke wears it around his neck as a constant reminder that his dad, like the key, is whole, is close by and watching over him everyday.

Rich's funeral and visitation were beautiful.  The Simmons family, Luke and I were shown a lot of love and support by many friends and family members.  Rich was laid to rest on May 5th at Maple Grove Cemetery with the soil from his families farm scattered over him.

The road since Rich's death has been bumpy for Luke, Rich's family, and for me too.  I miss him every day and can't count how many times I go to call him to talk about our son.  We made it through the holidays without him, and today, we are thinking of him and missing him on his birthday.  Happy Birthday, Richie Simmons.  We love you and miss you more than you could know.    I hope you can take a minute out of your busy day in Heaven to have a piece of cake.